Sanguine

Walking home one winter evening, I let out a gasp of air and with it released the last bit of control you had on my heart.  I had watched you grow from afar, assured myself that I was over you.  You always did worry about this man who would be better than you and take you away from me, funny how when I left you I had no idea if he would even exist. But it’s been years now and I have to agree, you were right. He’s been beside me patiently, and slowly he’s taken over any part of me that I once gave to you. He’s brought me back to a state of hilarity, from a state of disconsolation. The insecurities I had laid out for you, that were burning red after we were over, he amended. And today as I walked back home, I see him in the park, playing with his nephews and the part of my heart which wanted to keep you forever, finally let’s go. You were my past and I’ve held you for far too long, and now I move on to something better. Or maybe not. Either way, you no longer reign my heart.

They say the past teaches you lessons, regardless of the outcome. I thank you, for teaching me I can be strong enough to move forward, for making me make decisions and sticking to them. For making me a product of not just life, but of myself. But not I let you be, what you should have been for a long time now, a memory…

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