Sentimentality

It had been far too long since I’d last seen her, I barely remember the little giggle that would escape from her mouth as I stared at her bleakly. Far too long since I’d hugged her and felt her tiny little arms grasp me like I was everything she had longed for. But here I was, back to where I had to leave her many years ago. I’d missed her so much, and I could barely contain my excitement as I walked out the airport, where she said she’d be waiting for me.


Oh, how was he gonna react? My entire look had changed, my hobbies had changed, my habits had changed. What if he took one look at me and seeing that I was not what he expected, he would stop talking to me? What if instead of running to hug me and telling me how much he’d missed me and tell me how much he loved me, I would make him want to fly back to where he’s come from. Oh it’s been so long and I’ve become so different, I can only hope that when I see him, everything will be fine again.


She’s there and she’s beautiful. She hasn’t noticed me yet and I know she’s anxious, biting her lip and crossing her arms like she does when she is. But wait, what do I say when I finally reach up to her, do I let her know how I feel. I should, I want too. She was beginning to pace now, and if she’d bite her lip any harder she’d make it bleed. Here goes nothing, I think as I shout out her name.


I hear his voice calling out my name and so I begin to look around trying to find him. His hand pops out of the mass, waving frantically to let me know where he was and my gaze goes down from his hand up in the air to his face. He has his big goofy smile, the one I fell in love with before I even knew what I felt for him was love.I move past the crowd as fast as possible, wanting to get close to him as fast as I can. His voice, that calls out my nickname, gets louder and louder until there he is right in front of me and suddenly I can’t find it in me, to raise my head to see his face.


She’s so cute when she’s shy, her cheeks become red and she raises her hands to hide them. She stares at the ground, unable to look at me and before my mind can process what it wants to do, my arms snake around her waist and pull her as close as possible to me. She murmurs a little before adjusting her head onto my chest, her arms also wrapping themselves around my torso. Her eyes are shut tightly and I just know she’s wondering if this is a dream, wondering if I’m really here and just on schedule she shifts her head against my chest again cause it’s the easiest way for her to convince herself I’m actually here.


I sniff him, ok that sounds weird, but I don’t know how else to explain it. He just has this distinct cologne that reminds me of him and only him. And as his arms tighten around my waist, I can’t help but stand on my tippy toes so my face is right in front of his. He smiles and soon I’m smiling too before I whisper “hi”. He whispers “hi” back. I shift my arms from around his body, to around his neck and pull our faces closer, our foreheads resting on one another, just smiling. Tears began to spill down my eyes, I had waited for him so long and now that he was actually here, his presence was enough to let all this pent up sadness rush out of my system. His hands were on my cheeks and as the tears touched his fingertips, he raised his head to see my face and with his thumbs wiped the tears from my eyes.


I hated seeing her upset, it was the one thing that always hit me the hardest than anything else. And while I knew these were tears she needed to shed, to let her emotions finally flow, my heart was pulling the strings, wishing that being so far away wasn’t the cause of the pain I could see. I pulled her into the tightest hug before I began to cry as well. This beautiful woman had somehow fallen in love with me and while I knew I didn’t deserve her, now that she had given me a chance, I would do everything I possibly could to show her how important, how precious, how beautiful and how strong she truly was. I ended our embrace to see her face again, pushing her hair to one side I put one hand around her neck, pulling her face closer and kissed her like I’d wanted to from the moment we had last parted.


They both intertwined their hands, with hardly any gaps between them.
He said something funny, she giggled.
His eyes, while seeming blank at first, hiding love and adoration.
While she remains blissfully unaware of just how much he had fallen in love with her.
He called for a taxi and she kept her eyes on his face, wondering how she got so lucky, but don’t tell him, he’ll never agree.

As they both sat inside, I finally opened my eyes.
Cheeks wet.
Heart feeling like it was being pulled a thousand different directions.
Old memories, while nostalgic, were painful reminders of what now could never be.

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