Random message from the owner of this blog you are currently reading.
I feel like this has been a long time coming and now here I am finally writing and penning down these thoughts. Like always I’d love to hear what you think because you know that’s how we grow. We share and learn to hear what others share and then choose what we think makes sense and move forward.
So the point of this whole thing is that recently I came to terms with some more of the hurdles that were put for me in life and it really brought me to a low point. Not as low as I’ve gone before but still low enough for someone to be concerned. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone about it and so instead I pretty much went on auto pilot mode and continued on with life. No up’s, no down’s, just going on as though it was all okay. The thing is initially it bothered me that no one I knew seemed to catch upon those feelings and if they did they didn’t really ask me if I was doing fine, but then I came to realize it doesn’t work that way.
If you put up your walls and are faking how you feel to them, chances are they aren’t gonna ask. They will ask you how are you but won’t push you further because they want you to tell them and if you don’t it’s not their fault. Our friends and family are not mind readers, they can’t know that we want them to ask us further, to ask us a couple more times if you are sure that you are okay. If you are acting like you are, most of the time they will believe so,and take your word for it because they trust us to tell them when we aren’t.
I know sometimes we can’t talk about it or we are unsure as to how we even begin such a conversation but we need to initiate it, we need to make the first step, to let the other person know that something is wrong. So they know to question you further, so that they know something is wrong and that they need to be there for you right now.
Some ways that I try to do this is by sending my friends a certain emoji, one that isn’t popularly used, so that they know if I’m sending it to them, something’s wrong and I need them to question me cause I’m unable to talk about it otherwise. Another way you could do this is by having a certain code word for it, so that they are aware that something is up.
Most times maybe we don’t want to talk about it until we are ready and if this is the case, then you can’t fault your loved ones for not understanding how you feel right now, it’s impossible for them to understand. Also if you don’t want to talk about it yet, I’m sure we aren’t even aware but we are sending them signals that this is not the time. Now once we send these signals we need to learn to stop, if now we want to talk them. We can’t sit there,sobbing, wondering why no one is asking us how we are.
At the end of the day the people who love and care for us can only do so much, if we choose to keep our walls up and sit and wallow in self pity, nothing is gonna happen. If you want something to happen, you need to do something. You need to get up right now and go tell them, something’s wrong or even just give them the indication that now they are needed.
Sometimes we say certain things in situations like these, our behavior becomes predictable and so they know what to do, and what is needed from them. But this is not always the case and we have to learn to accept it and not make it personal. We shouldn’t take is as them not knowing us, or not caring for us. Maybe they just honestly missed it but you know what they can’t miss you going up to them and saying I need your help. They can’t make excuses for that and say oh I didn’t notice.
Get out there and try to tell them that I’m not okay. Explain to them what you think you need and listen to them because I assure you if they are truly people who love you they are probably worrying about you and want to do something to help. But in situations like these there isn’t much they can do unless you let them do something. Unless you choose to believe them and take their words and actions to help you.
If someone tells you that they are here for you no matter what and that you can tell them anything, you have to believe they mean it and go up to them and try your best to explain it. Not for them but for yourself because you need someone and they can be your someone, you’ve just got to use this voice given to us and tell them.
If any of you out there reading this were looking for a sign to tell you, that someone cares and you need to go talk to them. This is it. Please. Take care of yourselves ok? The world is going through so much right now, and so many people are affected and we all need to be here for one another. So while you need take your time to heal, know that eventually you will only get help when you start to want to be better.
Be well you wonderful people that belong to the human race and farewell for this post.