Just what I think.

“If you had a chance to change something,
What would you do?”
I’ve always wondered how can I only choose one incident,
There is so much I want to change,
People told me change that one incident that will change the rest of your life,
But that could be any incident,
Altering the slightest incident in my life could completely change it,
What if I don’t like the change,
What if the change only does me more harm,
How could I possibly change something in my life,
Because whatever has happened,
Has brought me to where I am,
A hallucination of happiness,
A mirror to see how stupid I truly am,
I see the people who mock me,
Taunt me,
Do me wrong,
And yet I’m still in this illusion of happiness,
Maybe this is where I belong,
So why would I want to change that,
For after everything this life has thrown at me,
I’d rather live in an illusion of having a good life,
Then possibly go back to misery,
I’m dead inside,
I know it,
I can feel it,
I can sense the presence of no soul,
The longing to fight is no more,
I just want to stand still,
Let time pass me by,
Enjoy whatever is my life,
I’m done wanting something better,
Does that make me inhuman?
I’m not sure.
But it’s where I am today,
And I don’t want that to change,
I don’t want to be like those people in the street,
Fighting each day for a heaven,
That they will never reach,
For apparently that is human nature,
To want and want and want,
Until the day we die,
To always want more than the supply;
the economic problem,
So why would I change a moment in my life,
That disturbs this peace,
In my otherwise chaotic life,
The abusive dad,
The dead best friends,
The people constantly striving for me to do better,
I don’t want better,
I’m happy with this world I’ve created for myself,
This paradox of being happy in the hallucination of happiness,
I’m fine with it,
Yet humanly nature strikes again,
They want me to be like them,
But I’m not,
I’ve come to realize far more earlier,
That when people say be happy with what you have,
It doesn’t mean keep fighting to get more ,
While remaining happy with the life you live right now,
It means just be happy with your life,
Whatever it may be,
If fighting makes you happy,
Don’t force it on another,
Who can lie content in their bed,
While misery surround them every other day,
They are okay with it,
Why do you need to make them feel so strange,
Feel so inhuman,
So alienated,
Why?
If you thought human nature,
Well you’ve thought right my friend,
So maybe I don’t want to change,
Change nothing at all,
Just be and let be,
Let my life go down the path,
I shall slowly forge,
That’s what it should be,
Isn’t it,
Just moving through your life,
Doing what you think you ought to do at the time,
So you live your life the way you want to,
Till the day you die.
If anyone reading this has any different opinions do not hesitate to comment or reach out to me in some way or the other because this topic has particularly puzzled me and I’d love to see different views on it.
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2 thoughts on “Just what I think.

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